The 10 Smartest Money Habits for Your Relationship

Combining marriage and finances can be really difficult.

There are a lot of expenses associated with starting a marriage and plenty of experiences that come up over the years that can shake things up. But by starting on the same page and building smart money habits, you can make it!

These money tips are applicable through every stage of a relationship, so whether you’re just married or have years under your belt, there are takeaways for all of you.

Here are some quick things to start doing so you can stay on top and begin saving from the very start so you aren’t living paycheck to paycheck.

KNOW THE COSTS OF NECESSITIES

You absolutely have to pay your bills every month and it’s good to know what the general costs of those are. You want to make sure they are for sure covered. Here is an outline of how you can do this:

1. Add up your bills. This is rent or mortgage, utilities, cars, cell phones, internet, and any insurance bills.
2. Now add $100-$150 extra to that number (you want some wiggle room in the case a bill ends up higher than you’d expected – and don’t worry, if you don’t need it by the end of the month, it’s flex money).
3. Add up the amount you want to spend on groceries each month – we have $400 set aside and we can usually stay within that pretty easily.
4. Make sure you account for charitable donations, emergencies (popped tires, medical bills, etc), or investing in this category.
5. You can place subscriptions in this category as well, but keep in mind that those are counted as a want if you need to cut back.

You are going to need to make at least the amount you came up with every month to subsist. Really you should be making more than this to give yourself some room.

If you aren’t meeting that, find a side hustle, look for a new job, swap for an older car, or try to cut other costs where you can.

ESTABLISH A BUDGET

Yeah, I know, it’s not the most fun activity, but when you’re trying to get settled with finances this is the best place to begin. Sit down with your significant other, make a plan, and stick to it.

If you need tips on how to do this, check out my article about how to simplify budgeting as a couple.

One thing that we do is we set an overall budget, then we go over it often so we can keep it updated with changing bills or new savings funds.

BEFORE SPENDING, CHECK YOURSELF

This is essentially a “look at your budget before you go out shopping” tip. Looking over your finances before you go out will help you to be more mindful when you come across something you might want to purchase.

Double check to ensure that you didn’t miss something before you go and spend the cash. This includes all bills, groceries, and other projected payments that might need to be made.

CREATE A SPENDING THRESHOLD

Sit down and decide what sum of money you cannot spend without first discussing it with your s/o. For example, you could set an amount of $25. For anything over $25, if you haven’t already set a budget for it, you have to talk to each other before spending it. But if it’s under $25 and it’s within budget, then you’re okay to spend.

I would still recommend just being open with your purchasing every time, but it’s good to have an idea of what’s okay and what’s not before you go racking up charges.

Another way to do this is by creating separate personal checking accounts, transferring in an agreed upon amount each month, and then that money just rolls over each month until you decide you want to buy something. It creates a no-judgement spending zone and you have free reign with whatever money you have in your account.

REMEMBER THAT EMERGENCIES HAPPEN

No one wants to get a notice from the IRS saying you owe taxes, or replace the tires on your car, or have a big medical emergency that isn’t fully covered by insurance. But life happens, and when it does, there’s nothing that you can do about it.

This is why you need a backup. Build up a savings as quickly as possible so that you can dip into it for bigger things whenever they come up. Try to avoid taking out loans for emergencies wherever possible.

STAY WITHIN BOUNDS

If you “really don’t have the money”, you don’t have the money.

Sorry, I know it sucks. If you can’t afford it (meaning you’re stretching for cash or dipping into funds that you shouldn’t), you cannot buy it or spend it. Don’t make excuses and don’t give into your spouse’s begging.

This is one of the biggest issues I’ve seen in couples who have financial issues. I get that new cars are nice, the iPhones just keep getting better, and tickets for Tim McGraw are on sale for today only.

If you’re saving well and budgeting well, eventually you will be able to afford whatever it is. But the point is to budget and save.

PAY OFF LOANS ASAP

If you can pay off your cars and any other loans, that’s one less payment every month you have to make and more money saved in retrospect. Mortgages are a little bit of a different story of course, but you can work at those too.

By paying off loans early, you end up paying less for the loan in the long run because you aren’t paying as much in interest.

I’m throwing in a little shameless plug here to say that, if you can, avoid taking out loans in the first place. They really aren’t a great deal because you end up losing a lot of money in interest by the time the loan term comes to a close. Just save up for that new car you’ve got your eye on and pay cash when you get there! It feels more fulfilling that way anyways.

LOOK AHEAD

The biggest problem when married couples come up short with cash starts because they didn’t plan ahead. When I look at our bank accounts, I know how much money we will need next month, and the month after that. I also know that we have things we’re saving up for and we may have expenses pop up that are out of our control.

So we created a plan with that in mind and it has helped us stay on top every month. We’ve hit rough patches with jobs, car maintenance, and unexpected taxes, but we’ve made it out okay because we look to the future when we manage our money.

EMBRACE THE MINIMALIST LIFESTYLE

If you’ve ever been into Ikea, you’ve got an idea of what this looks like. Live simply.

1. Make do with what you have.
2. Only buy what you absolutely need.
3. Drive less.
4. Make your own meals and eat cheaper.
5. Use less energy.
6. Shop thrift stores or discount shops.
7. Find cheap date ideas.

This has actually become one of the best things for us. When you’re living minimally, you have time to focus more on your relationship and you start to enjoy things for what they are. It’s a beautiful thing really.

IDENTIFY SPENDING TRIGGERS

Make a list of things that trigger you to spend money and eliminate them.

Does window shopping online lead to buying new shoes? Does not taking a lunch to work lead to eating out? When you’re just needing to get out of the house, do you go to stores which leads you to buy more things?

There are lots of different things that trigger people into spending money. Identify what things do that for you, individually and as a couple, and work through them.

CHECK IN OFTEN

You define what often is, but you and your spouse should sit down regularly and chat about how things are going. By doing this, you both can make better financial decisions and catch things before they happen.

Check in on each other and see how each of you feels about the way you’re managing finances. If you need to make adjustments, do so!

If you have other ideas of how to get back on track with saving and spending as a couple, leave them in the comments below!