Dating can be the best and the worst, all at the same time. Any dating veteran knows that not every date is enjoyable. In fact, hardly anyone escapes the dating world without at least one bad experience.
My goal is to help ensure that your dates have more positives than negatives. Using the following ideas should help!
Make a Plan
When I was dating, if someone picked me up for a first or second date and they didn’t have a plan for where we were going, things instantly started to sour. The second someone said, “Well, what do you want to do?” I was about ready to make a run for it. Please, plan ahead!
Know where you are going and what you are doing. Plan ahead for traffic or weather, and ensure the both of you are in proper clothing for the activity.
On one date, I went axe throwing. It was all fun, except I’d worn sandals and they had a closed-toe shoe policy. The manager lent me some red crocs to wear which not only made it hard to throw, but also was a little humiliating. I laughed it off and think it’s a great story, but deep down it was embarrassing.
When a date is well planned, you can focus more on having fun and getting to know the person than worrying about what in the world you are going to do with your date for the next 3 hours.
Don’t Allow Distractions
The point of a date is to get to know someone and to have fun. If you have distractions, I promise neither will happen.
Put the phone away. If you struggle to keep it away when it’s in your pocket, leave it in the car. You have plenty of time to spend with your phone every day. Date night should be phone-free as much as possible.
Once on a third date, we doubled with my date’s best friend and his wife and consequently, I was hardly involved in any of the conversations. Don’t make this mistake! If you are doing a double date, make sure the other couple isn’t a distraction.
A good rule of thumb is that if something is considerably taking your focus away from your date, it’s a distraction and it needs to be set aside.
Compile a Fun Date Night List
Can I emphasize FUN?! There are a million things to do out there. Dinner and a movie is not the only option.
Go and list out all the date night ideas you can possibly think of to do in your area. Write down fun ones, simple ones, free ones, cheap ones, and expensive ones.
If you need some help, check out this list of fun dates to get you started.
This is such a good thing to have on hand when your original plans sour (because they do sometimes). It’s also convenient to have a list to look over for a quick idea during a busy week.
Make It Enjoyable
An activity can be great with one person and totally not awesome with another. It’s often just a matter of who a person is. Ensure that your date night is enjoyable for everyone involved.
One person might love karaoke, while another person might panic when they found out what you were planning. Someone might love trying a new exotic restaurant while another would rather stick with a good ole burger and fries. A straight-up dinner and a movie might be your go-to choice, but someone else could get easily bored by this.
I find that a good middle ground for a date includes something that keeps you busy while still allowing for some talk. Examples are hiking, playing board games, or volunteering at a soup kitchen. All of these would give moments to get to know each other while also allowing for some breathe-time.
Be the Best You
Yep, I’m going to be your mom. Clean yourself up and be the best version of yourself. Whether you want to go or not (we’ve all been there), you need to be on your best behavior. Show respect, and be present.
You know the drill. Just be a good human and help make your date as comfortable as possible while still being true to who you are.
Make Good Conversation
The purpose of a date is to get to know someone. This is really hard to do without quality conversation.
On my husband and I’s first date, we drove nearly two hours to a comedy show, then two hours back.
What does one talk about for four whole hours of driving when you both are introverts and you only just met? Good question.
Create a list of both common and fun get-to-know-you questions. Ask your date all sorts of questions about everything. Everyone is fascinating, you just have to get good at finding out why.
If you’re curious, on our first date, my husband and I talked about work and school, hobbies and family, then fell into a deep conversation about the purpose of life and religious beliefs. It was one of my favorite moments of ours, to this day.
